It’s been almost 2 weeks since I began my experiment in publishing daily. Since I’m almost half way through my goal of making in to January 31st (which also happens to be my BIRTHDAY & the day I plan on launching an exciting new service), I thought that today would be a good day to talk about my experiences.
It’s actually been a little more easy than I thought. I thought I’d feel anxious and uninspired most days, but really the hardest day was January 1st– I came really close to not even beginning. I kept thinking, Oh It’s not really that important, I’ll just start next month, I’m not prepared.’ But those were all resistance games and I wouldn’t have been anymore ready next month, it would have been the same game but easier to put off compounded with more guilt.
I thought inspiration would be a huge issue– which it is, but it’s easier to stay inspired than I thought. I’ve been reading several books, which give me ideas daily, and all the lovely new blogs and people I’ve encountered are endless sources of inspiration. I’ve found that inspiration isn’t really something that STRIKES you, it’s something you have to actively work towards. By pushing publish, I’m building up an archive of inspiration. I have proof of what I’m doing, it’s a build up of momentum. I can look back and gain ideas from past insights.
It is a revolution in my own life (or at least it seems like the beginnings of one). Since I have to actively seek inspiration– I can’t just spend all day smoking weed in bed watching tv. I’m forced to read things, to go out and do things, to work, or I won’t have anything to share. I’m forced to think more.
Another one of my concerns was the fact I spend a lot of time outside of my house. It’s easy to work alone in your room, it’s harder to work outside with your boyfriend and most of his friends over. And I’m a not-so-secret huge sports fan, and my football team made the playoffs for the first time in 18 years, so not being caught up in that (when all of your friends, parents, ENTIRE CITY is hyped) is virtually impossible, and it is a distraction. I’ve managed to push through and work even when I’m here (which I currently am). I feel that this is TRANSFORMATIVE since I’ve never been able to work here before. This means, the resentful, neglected side of me that gets offended over too much Madden & Fifa, doesn’t come out that often because I’m focusing on my own shit.
The thing that causes me the most anxiety is if I don’t have something ready to post the night before. ‘Great, now I have to think of something and write and edit tomorrow a midst blah blah blah blah.’ I am concerned that I’ll give up more easily if I don’t have something I can post (at least an idea!) the night before. I am crafting this the day of, but I had an idea of what i was going to say last night. I also sort of cheat on Thursdays, it’s not my writing, just the linkstreams of internety goodness. This feels like my bingo free spot and gives me an extra day before the weekend– and the weekend, like I said, can be pretty distracting. I feel like if used correctly, I could get all 3 weekend posts knocked out on my Thursday freebie, which releases a lot of anxiety (and makes sure I keep going!)
I guess what I feel the most is proud. I have stuck to things before (albeit rarely), but this time feels the most different. First of all, I haven’t hit a point where I’ve just wanted to give up yet, it hasn’t even crossed my mind, in fact, I’d like to keep going after the 31st if possible, I’d like to see how long I could go in general. I feel waves of pride when I check off on my calendar, Yes I did hit publish today!
It’s also getting easier to share the pieces and I am learning what types of things land with what types of people. It feels like a little social experiment. A lot of my lovely readers have liked my Principles of Art, a lot have enjoyed the things I say about writing. Some posts get more likes and others get retweeted more. It’s really interesting but I hope it doesn’t start to affect the way I write. I’d like to just keep writing and keep noticing without judging or changing. I have learned that the more vulnerable the post it, the more it does seem to land for people. And well, if I do change anything about the work, being more vulnerable is pretty ok with me.
So that’s it. Two whole works of actually publishing. I would like to give myself a pretty big, whacky, overzealous high five right now. I would also like to suggest that you experiment with publishing daily. Because I see it not just changing my writing, but my mentality, my relationships…MY LIFE. Why haven’t I been doing this…Always?